Last-Minute Co-Parenting Christmas Checklist
Whether you’re struggling to find an agreement in time or just want to keep things simple, this checklist will guide you through the essentials for a smooth Christmas.
The festive season can be stressful for separated parents, especially at the last minute. This checklist helps you plan handovers, manage routines, and keep the focus on your children’s happiness, even when time is tight.
1. Confirm the Basic Plan
Start by locking in the essential arrangements so both parents have clarity and the children know what to expect.
- Agree Christmas Day arrangements — Who will have the children on Christmas Eve? Christmas Day? Boxing Day?
- Discuss any travel logistics — Will you be swapping homes? Is there distance to travel? Who is responsible for the journey?
- Set clear handover times and locations — Include drop-off/pick-up times and places, making sure both parents are on the same page.
2. Focus on the Children’s Well-Being
Keep the children at the centre of your planning by prioritising stability, reassurance and familiar routines.
- Reassure the children — Let them know both parents are working together to make the holidays enjoyable, even if things aren’t perfect.
- Maintain routines — Try to preserve familiar routines (bedtimes, mealtimes, etc.) so children feel secure during the transition.
- Clarify gifts — Agree on a gift-buying approach (e.g. no competition, a price limit, or simply “one present each”).
3. Keep Communication Simple & Positive
Effective communication can prevent misunderstandings, so aim to keep conversations practical, respectful and focused on the children.
- Use a neutral tone — Keep conversations short, direct, and focused on logistics. Avoid discussing past conflicts.
- Confirm final arrangements in writing — A brief message or email summarising the agreed plan helps prevent misunderstandings.
- Check-in on the children’s emotional needs — Have a quick conversation with the other parent about anything special the children need during the holidays.
4. Plan for Flexibility & Compromise
If things feel tight or unsettled, a little flexibility can help you reach a workable plan that meets everyone’s needs this year.
- Be open to temporary arrangements — If you can’t agree on everything, be flexible. Consider alternative plans that work for both sides, even if they’re only for this year.
- Offer a “second Christmas” celebration — If one parent can’t have the children on the actual day, agree to celebrate on a different day.
- Make room for both families — Ensure there’s time for both sides of the family to see the children, even if it’s just a quick visit or video call.
5. Avoid Stressing the Children
Protect children from tension by keeping adult issues separate and presenting a calm, united approach throughout the holidays.
- Keep the kids out of the negotiation — Don’t ask them to choose between parents or feel caught in the middle.
- Maintain a united front — Whether or not you agree on everything, present a calm, positive attitude to the children about the holidays.
6. Final Preparations
- Prepare holiday bags for the children — Make sure they have everything they need when moving between homes (gifts, clothes, toiletries, favourite toys, etc.).
- Double-check any special plans — If you’re arranging for a visit to extended family, confirm the details early to avoid last-minute confusion.
- Take a deep breath — Give yourself credit for getting this far. The most important thing is that the children feel loved and supported.
A few last checks can make the handovers smoother and ensure the children feel comfortable and cared for between homes.
7. Plan for the Future
Once Christmas is over, consider how to make next year easier by setting time aside to discuss longer-term arrangements.
- Set a date for a follow-up mediation session in the New Year — Mediation can help you make more permanent arrangements for the future, reducing stress for the next holiday season.
Remember: The holiday season doesn’t need to be perfect, but it does need to be filled with understanding, patience, and good will. The children are watching how you manage the transition, and your example will help them feel safe and loved.
How Can Family Mediation Help With Child Arrangements Over Christmas?
excitement builds. The festive season is a time of joy, celebration and family get-togethers, particularly for children who eagerly await the magic of Christmas however, for separated parents, it can also be a period of stress and conflict, particularly when there is no clear plan in place for when children will spend time with each parent.
Co-Parenting Christmas Checklist FAQs
Thornton Jones Solicitors suggest starting with a calm and practical conversation to agree on handover times, travel logistics, and who will have the children on each day. Even if time is short, putting agreements in writing, via email or text, can prevent misunderstandings. Prioritise the children’s routines and emotional needs, and consider mediation if you struggle to reach a compromise.
Thornton Jones Solicitors advise maintaining familiar routines, such as bedtimes and mealtimes, and reassuring children that both parents are working together to make the holidays enjoyable. Keep conversations positive and avoid discussing conflicts in front of the children. Small gestures, like packing favourite toys or planning a special activity, can also help them feel secure and loved during transitions between homes.
Thornton Jones Solicitors suggest remaining flexible and open to temporary arrangements, such as celebrating on a different day or making time for visits with both sides of the family. If disagreements arise, focus on solutions that prioritise the children’s enjoyment and emotional well-being. Agreeing in advance on a “Plan B” can make last-minute changes less stressful and help ensure a positive holiday for everyone involved.
The content of this blog post is for information only and does not constitute formal legal advice and should not be relied upon as advice. Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no liability for any such reliance upon this content. Where the post includes links to external websites, Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no responsibility for the content of such sites. Any link to a third-party website should not be construed as endorsement by Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited of any content, products or services which are outside our direct control.
Why Your ‘Final Order’ Isn’t Final: Understanding Divorce Terminology in 2025
The way we talk about divorce has changed significantly since the introduction of no-fault divorce in April 2022. While the reform aimed to simplify the process and make it less confrontational, the new terminology, especially around the final order of divorce, is still causing confusion for many people going through separation.
This has meant that there has been an increasing number of people who understandably believe that their divorce is fully concluded once they receive their final order. Unfortunately, this is often not the case. In this blog, we explain why the language of divorce remains problematic and what you need to know to protect your financial position.
What Is a Final Order of Divorce?
A final order of divorce simply ends the marriage, and it does not resolve financial claims.
This means that even after your divorce has been finalised, your former spouse may still be able to make financial claims against you in the future unless a legally binding financial order is in place.
We regularly see cases where individuals mistakenly believe that the final order of divorce also brings their financial obligations to an end, when in reality, their financial claims remain open.
You can find out more about applying for a financial order by visiting our Divorce & Financial Settlements page.
What Is the Problem With the New Divorce Terminology?
Before 2022, divorce used long-established terms such as petition, petitioner, decree nisi and decree absolute. These terms have now been replaced with application, applicant, conditional order and final order.
The idea behind the change was positive as it aimed to make the process easier to understand and allow couples to apply for divorce online without needing a solicitor. However, some of the language chosen, particularly ‘final order’, creates a false sense of completion.
Navigating the Financial Disclosure Process in a Divorce: Where Do You Start?
Divorce can be a challenging and emotional time, with a lot to think about. One of the most significant aspects of the process is sorting out your finances. But where do you start? Understanding the financial disclosure process is crucial in ensuring a fair settlement, and in the UK, this often involves completing a Form E. Read more…
How Misunderstanding a Final Order Can Cause Real Life Problems
Misunderstanding the effect of a final order of divorce can give rise to a range of practical and financial difficulties for individuals following the breakdown of a marriage. Without a legally binding financial order, financial claims remain open indefinitely, regardless of how long ago the divorce was finalised. This can lead to significant issues, including:
- Uncertainty regarding property ownership and investment – Individuals may make financial decisions, such as investing in or disposing of property, on the assumption that their former spouse has no ongoing entitlement. In the absence of a financial order, those assumptions may be incorrect.
- Exposure to future financial claims – A former spouse may later pursue claims against income, savings, property, pensions or other assets acquired after the marriage has ended. This can be particularly problematic where an individual’s financial circumstances improve post-divorce.
- Complications arising on remarriage or new relationships – Entering into a new marriage without securing a financial order can limit a person’s ability to seek certain types of financial relief and may create unintended vulnerabilities should disputes arise later.
- Inheritance and pension implications – Without a financial order, issues relating to pension sharing or inheritance rights may remain unresolved, potentially affecting both parties and any dependants.
These risks highlight the importance of obtaining legal advice and securing a final, binding financial order rather than relying solely on the divorce final order, which deals only with the legal dissolution of the marriage and not its financial consequences.
Why Misunderstanding Is Becoming More Common
The Online Divorce System
The simplified digital process makes it easy for people to apply for a divorce without legal advice, often without realising that finances are a completely separate matter.
The Change in Terminology
Words like “final order” suggest something is complete and resolved when it is not. The language does not make the distinction between ending the marriage and settling the finances clear enough.
What Needs to Change?
There is increasing recognition that the language is too simplistic and is causing confusion. Clearer terminology would help individuals understand what their divorce actually does and, crucially, what it does not do.
At Thornton Jones Solicitors, we recommend that you do not apply for your final order until your financial arrangements are agreed or resolved. In some cases, delaying the final order can protect your position particularly when there are pensions.
What You Should Do If You’re Going Through Divorce?
Until clearer language is introduced, the safest approach is to always seek legal advice early. The move to no-fault divorce has made the separation process more accessible and less confrontational, which is undoubtedly positive. But unclear terminology continues to cause avoidable misunderstandings.
If you are considering divorce or are currently partway through the process, we strongly recommend seeking specialist advice to ensure your financial position is fully protected.
Final Order of Divorce FAQs
A final order of divorce is the legal document that formally ends your marriage. It replaces the old term decree absolute and confirms that the marriage has been dissolved in the eyes of the law. However, it is important to understand that while it ends the legal relationship, it does not deal with how your finances are divided.
Thornton Jones Solicitors say that many people mistakenly assume the final order brings all matters to a close, but without a separate financial order, financial claims remain open indefinitely.
Yes. A financial order is essential if you want to ensure that your financial ties with your former spouse are fully resolved. Without it, either party may still bring claims in the future, even years after the marriage has legally ended. These claims can relate to income, savings, pensions, property, business assets or investments acquired after the divorce.
Thornton Jones advise that securing a binding financial order provides certainty and protection, preventing unexpected claims and helping you plan for the future with confidence.
You can apply for the final order six weeks and one day after the conditional order (formerly known as the decree nisi) has been granted. This waiting period is intended to give both parties time to reflect and to deal with any outstanding issues, particularly financial matters.
Thornton Jones Solicitors say that it is often wise to delay applying for the final order until your financial arrangements are agreed or resolved, especially where pensions or property are involved, to avoid unintentionally weakening your financial position.
The content of this blog post is for information only and does not constitute formal legal advice and should not be relied upon as advice. Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no liability for any such reliance upon this content. Where the post includes links to external websites, Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no responsibility for the content of such sites. Any link to a third-party website should not be construed as endorsement by Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited of any content, products or services which are outside our direct control.
Divorce Week 2025: Understanding Your Options When It Comes to Divorce
Divorce Week is a time to shine a light on the realities of separation and to help people understand that there’s no single “right” way to divorce. Every relationship and family is different, and so is every path to resolution.
At Thornton Jones Solicitors, we know that divorce is never easy. But with the right information and support, it can be managed in a way that reduces stress, minimises conflict, and helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.
Here we explore the main options available to you when it comes to ending a marriage and how each one can help you reach a fair and workable outcome that suits you.
What Is Divorce Week?
Good Divorce Week is an annual national campaign that encourages open discussion about separation and raises awareness of the support that’s available. It’s not about promoting divorce it’s about helping people understand their options and make informed, confident choices for themselves and their families.
During this week, family law professionals, mediators, and counsellors across the country share advice and guidance to help individuals navigate the legal, emotional, and financial challenges of separation.
Mediation – What is Mediation?
Mediation involves meeting with an independent, professionally trained mediator who helps you both discuss and resolve key issues such as finances, properties, and child arrangements.
Choosing mediation gives you control over the outcome and encourages open communication between both parties, rather than having decisions imposed by a court. It’s usually quicker, less costly, and less stressful than traditional court proceedings.
At Thornton Jones, we can guide you through the mediation process, providing advice and support in attempting to help both parties reach an agreement.
Meet our Mediator
Shelley Wales qualified as a solicitor in 2001 and is a Partner and Head of Family Dispute Resolution.
Collaborative Law – What is Collaborative Law
A collaborative divorce is a forward-thinking approach that allows both parties and their Solicitors to work together to find solutions in a series of face to face 4-way meetings. Everyone commits to resolving the issues open and constructive dialogue without going to Court. This process allows you to handle complicated and contentious issues and find a mutually acceptable outcome with the assistance of their solicitor by their side. This can save time, money and prevent your divorce or separation from becoming unnecessarily acrimonious.
Meet our Collaborative Law Solicitor
Jane Auty qualified as a solicitor in 1997 and is a Partner and Head of Family Law here at Thornton Jones Solicitors.
Negotiation – What is negotiation in family law?
Some couples prefer to communicate directly, agree the terms of their separation and ask us to draft this up into a legally binding Court Order. This approach can work well when there’s mutual respect and willingness to reach agreement. It is, however, important to seek advice before making any agreements legally binding.
At Thornton Jones, we can formalise agreements and draft the appropriate Court Order setting out the terms of the agreement reached.
Court Proceedings – What are Court Proceedings in Family Law?
Sometimes, court proceedings are necessary, particularly where communication has broken down, there are complex financial issues, or safeguarding concerns exist.
In these cases, our experienced family solicitors will represent you with sensitivity and strength, ensuring your rights and interests are protected throughout the process.
While court proceedings can take longer and be more formal, they offer structure, transparency, and legal enforceability where other methods may not be suitable.
One Couple, One Lawyer: Collaboration not Conflict
More and more separating and divorcing couples are choosing a new, kinder way to navigate the process of divorce and separation, one that puts communication and cooperation before courtroom battles. That’s where the One Couple, One Lawyer Model comes in. At Thornton Jones Solicitors, we know that divorce doesn’t have to mean war. Read more…
Finding the Right Path for You
Choosing the right route for your divorce depends on your circumstances, communication with your former partner, and what feels right for your family.
At Thornton Jones Solicitors, we take the time to understand your situation and explain all your options clearly. Whether your separation is amicable or more complex, our friendly and experienced Family Law team will guide you through the process, helping you make informed decisions and move forward with confidence.
If you’d like to speak to one of our Family Law specialists, please get in touch today.
A Message for Good Divorce Week 2025
Good Divorce Week 2025 is a reminder that separation doesn’t have to mean conflict or confusion. With the right advice and support, it can be the start of a more positive chapter. If you’d like to speak to one of our friendly family law specialists in confidence, please get in touch. We’re here to help you take the next step with clarity, confidence, and care.
Divorce Week 2025 FAQs
When separating, you can choose from several routes including mediation, collaborative law, One Lawyer, or traditional legal representation. Thornton Jones Solicitors say “It’s important to explore all your options early so you can decide on the best approach for your circumstances and maintain a constructive relationship where possible.”
Mediation allows couples to discuss arrangements for children, finances, and property in a calm, confidential setting with the help of a trained mediator. Thornton Jones advise that “Mediation can reduce conflict and cost, helping you reach an agreement that feels fair and practical for both sides.”
Even in an amicable divorce, legal advice ensures your financial settlement and child arrangements are properly recorded and legally binding. Thornton Jones Solicitors explain “A solicitor can help you formalise your agreement so you can move forward with clarity and peace of mind.”
Support can include legal advice, counselling, financial planning, and mediation services. Thornton Jones say “We work closely with counsellors, mediators, and financial advisors to ensure our clients receive well-rounded support that addresses both the legal and emotional sides of separation.”
The content of this blog post is for information only and does not constitute formal legal advice and should not be relied upon as advice. Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no liability for any such reliance upon this content. Where the post includes links to external websites, Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no responsibility for the content of such sites. Any link to a third-party website should not be construed as endorsement by Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited of any content, products or services which are outside our direct control.
Divorce Week 2025: Finding the Right Support When Relationships End
Every January, Divorce Week shines a spotlight on the realities of relationship breakdowns and the support available for those considering separation or divorce. For many, the new year is a time for reflection and sometimes, difficult decisions about the future.
At Thornton Jones Solicitors, we understand that deciding to separate is not always easy. Whether you’re taking the first steps or are already in the process, having the right legal and emotional support can make all the difference. Good Divorce Week 2025 is a timely reminder that help is available and that you don’t have to face this alone.
What Is Divorce Week?
Good Divorce Week is an annual national campaign that encourages open discussion about separation and raises awareness of the support that’s available. It’s not about promoting divorce it’s about helping people understand their options and make informed, confident choices for themselves and their families.
During this week, family law professionals, mediators, and counsellors across the country share advice and guidance to help individuals navigate the legal, emotional, and financial challenges of separation.
Why Does Support Matter During Separation?
Divorce affects more than just your legal status. It can have far-reaching emotional, financial, and practical impacts especially when children are involved. Without the right support, it can certainly feel overwhelming.
Seeking early advice can help you:-
- Understand your rights and options before making key decisions
- Reduce conflict and promote constructive communication
- Prioritise your children’s wellbeing
- Protect your finances and plan for the future
- Find emotional and practical support to move forward confidently
At Thornton Jones, our experienced family lawyers are here to guide you through every step, offering clarity, reassurance, and practical solutions tailored to your circumstances.
Pets and Divorce: Why UK Law Needs to Catch Up
From dogs and cats to parrots and ponies, pets are increasingly becoming a source of legal disagreement during divorce and separation. What was once a straightforward matter of ownership is now being challenged by the emotional bonds families form with their animals. Read more…
Types of Support Available When Separating
Legal Guidance
Our expert family law team can assist you with all aspects of separation and divorce, including:-
- Divorce and dissolution proceedings
- Financial settlements
- Child arrangements and parenting plans
- Mediation, collaborative law, working together with One Lawyer
- Prenuptial and postnuptial agreements
We believe in a constructive and compassionate approach that focuses on achieving fair outcomes without any unnecessary conflict.
Emotional and Wellbeing Support
We often work alongside counsellors, therapists, and other legal professionals (such as Mediators and Collaborative Lawyers) to ensure our clients have the holistic support they need. Talking to a professional can help you process emotions, manage stress, and make clear, considered decisions.
Financial and Practical Advice
Separation can bring financial uncertainty. We can connect you with trusted financial advisors who can help with budgeting, asset division, pensions, and long-term planning, giving you peace of mind for the future.
How We Can Help During Good Divorce Week 2025 and Beyond
If you’re considering separation, this week is a good opportunity to seek expert confidential, no-obligation advice. At Thornton Jones, we offer:
- Initial consultations to discuss your situation and outline your options
- Clear, transparent pricing so you can plan with confidence
- Tailored legal strategies that focus on your goals and your family’s wellbeing
We understand that every family is unique. Our role is to listen, advise, and support you with compassion and professionalism throughout the process.
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A Message for Divorce Week 2025
Good Divorce Week 2025 is a reminder that separation doesn’t have to mean conflict or confusion. With the right advice and support, it can be the start of a more positive chapter. If you’d like to speak to one of our friendly family law specialists in confidence, please get in touch. We’re here to help you take the next step with clarity, confidence, and care.
Divorce Week 2025 FAQs
When separating, you can choose from several routes including mediation, collaborative law, One Lawyer, or traditional legal representation. Thornton Jones Solicitors say “It’s important to explore all your options early so you can decide on the best approach for your circumstances and maintain a constructive relationship where possible.”
Mediation allows couples to discuss arrangements for children, finances, and property in a calm, confidential setting with the help of a trained mediator. Thornton Jones advise that “Mediation can reduce conflict and cost, helping you reach an agreement that feels fair and practical for both sides.”
Even in an amicable divorce, legal advice ensures your financial settlement and child arrangements are properly recorded and legally binding. Thornton Jones Solicitors explain “A solicitor can help you formalise your agreement so you can move forward with clarity and peace of mind.”
Support can include legal advice, counselling, financial planning, and mediation services. Thornton Jones say “We work closely with counsellors, mediators, and financial advisors to ensure our clients receive well-rounded support that addresses both the legal and emotional sides of separation.”
The content of this blog post is for information only and does not constitute formal legal advice and should not be relied upon as advice. Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no liability for any such reliance upon this content. Where the post includes links to external websites, Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no responsibility for the content of such sites. Any link to a third-party website should not be construed as endorsement by Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited of any content, products or services which are outside our direct control.
Collaborative Law: A more amicable approach to divorce
Collaborative Law offers couples a constructive way to navigate divorce, putting them in control of decisions and reducing conflict. Instead of facing lengthy court battles, parties work together with legal and financial professionals to resolve issues calmly, protecting relationships and supporting a smoother transition for both families and finances.
Divorce can undoubtedly be one of the most traumatic, stressful events in life, leading to fears and uncertainty over the future, upheaval whilst coping with a mixture of emotions from grief, bitterness, and anxiety. Sadly divorce is a common experience.
The Office for National Statistics in 2023 show 103,816 legal partnership dissolutions, with 102,678 divorces and 1,138 civil partnerships. Couples are faced with navigating the strain of an adversarial legal process but also the emotional fallout of the ending of a relationship.
A divorce can undoubtedly lead to hostilities, angry exchanges and a long court process, however a growing number of couples are finding ways to separate in a more amicably way. A collaborative law approach can provide both parties with legal support but other professionals such as financial advisors, life coaches who can assist parties in sitting around a table to agree all aspects of divorce finances and children without having to set foot in a court.
The collaborative approach involves a commitment to avoiding court to enable parties to work together to resolve issues around a financial settlement between them by agreement rather than having this imposed upon them. It puts both parties in control of decision making and emphasizes effective, calm, and rational communication in a confidential and safe environment, which helps to reduce conflict and emotional impact.
The emphasis on cooperation and respect helps to maintain an amicable relationship between couples, which is vital for continued co-parenting and future interaction.
Mediation. An alternative method to dispute resolution
Family Mediation can help you resolve the issues surrounding your separation or divorce in a constructive and amicable way, which usually helps you both to move on with your lives in a way that traditional ways of resolving disputes cannot. Mediation is just one of many alternative dispute resolution approaches.
Contact our Collaborative Law specialists in Yorkshire
If you would like to know more, Jane Auty, Partner and Head of Family Law offers a free 15 minute telephone consultation. To book or to find out more please contact our Client Relations Team on 0113 246 4423 (please select option 1) or email us at clientrelationsteam@thorntonjones.co.uk or ask a question using our online enquiry form.
The content of this blog post is for information only and does not constitute formal legal advice and should not be relied upon as advice. Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no liability for any such reliance upon this content. Where the post includes links to external websites, Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no responsibility for the content of such sites. Any link to a third-party website should not be construed as endorsement by Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited of any content, products or services which are outside our direct control.
Child Arrangements Over the Summer Holidays – A Mediation Perspective
For children, as the summer holidays fast approach, excitement builds. For separated parents, it can be a period of stress, frustration and conflict, particularly when there is no clear plan in place for when children will spend time with each parent.
This time of year especially, given that the school holidays often feel like they last a lifetime, can become challenging, emotionally charged and overwhelming for parents. Navigating this can be incredibly difficult.
As such, many families struggle to agree when the children will be with each parent and some may even feel they bear the brunt of the responsibility of caring for the children, or organising childcare, during the school holidays.
Both parents have equal rights and responsibilities to their children meaning they both have the same right to spend time with their children and the same duty to care for them. There is no Law in place that guarantees both parents have to be responsible for childcare during school holidays unless, of course, there is a Court Order already in place which specifically deals with such issues.
What should separated parents do if they can’t agree on child arrangements over the summer holidays?
If separated parents can’t agree on summer holiday arrangements, they should first try open, cooperative communication. If that fails, family mediation offers a faster, more affordable, and child-focused alternative to court. Thornton Jones Solicitors advise that early communication and, where needed, professional mediation are key to resolving summer child arrangements without court.
Steps to resolve summer holiday child arrangements
- Start discussions early with the other parent.
- Focus on the children’s needs and preferences.
- Use parenting apps to support clear communication.
- Consider family mediation if discussions stall.
- Check if you qualify for the government mediation voucher.
Common Challenges with Summer Child Arrangements
During the summer holidays, co-parenting challenges often become more pronounced. Without a clear and mutually agreed plan, tensions can rise and communication may break down. Some of the most frequent issues separated parents face at this time of year include:
- Unequal division of school holiday time – Tensions can rise when one parent feels they’re getting significantly less time with the children. This imbalance can feel unfair and may lead to ongoing conflict.
- One parent refusing to assist with childcare – If one parent refuses to help with childcare or assumes the other will manage alone, it can cause frustration and resentment, especially when both parents are working.
- Children’s wishes conflicting with one parent’s plans – Older children may express preferences that don’t align with one parent’s expectations, leading to disappointment or conflict around autonomy and decision-making.
- Disagreements over childcare or activity costs – Disputes may arise over who pays for summer clubs, trips, or childcare, especially when financial arrangements haven’t been clearly agreed.
- Changes to usual handover arrangements – Summer holidays often require adjusted handovers due to trips or altered work patterns. If not agreed in advance, this can cause confusion or missed contact.
- Holiday plans that don’t fit within agreed timeframes – A parent may want to take the children away during a period not allocated to them, leading to disputes over fairness or consent.
- Issues related to new partners or blended families – Introducing new family dynamics over the holidays—such as partners or step-siblings—can trigger emotional or practical complications.
- Lack of clarity in existing parenting plans or court orders – If parenting agreements are vague or silent on summer holidays, parents may struggle to interpret what’s “fair” without further guidance or mediation.
How to Navigate Co-Parenting During School Holidays
There will need to be a good level of communication and compromise. Be flexible and accommodating, whilst maintaining the children’s emotional stability. The considerations of the children should be considered. It is important to listen to the children’s views, however it is then for the parents to weigh up and consider those views so that they as parents can make decisions. After all, these arrangements are ultimately about them. Keeping children informed about the arrangements their parents have agreed for them can also relieve any anxiety or uncertainty they may have and will allow them to enjoy the holidays without worry. You should consider the children’s needs when making plans, bearing in mind their routines, preferences, and desires . Focus on creating a sense of stability and consistency for them, even if it means compromising on your own preferred schedule or plans.
Tips for Communicating with Your Co-Parent
We acknowledge this can be difficult when each parent has work commitments, but your first step should be to open up a line of communication with the other parent, giving plenty of time for discussions to take place, from a position of cooperation and conciliation – it will make decisions much easier. Remember: tone can easily be misinterpreted in texts and emails, so they may not be the most effective forms of communication. Try to communicate with the other parent face-to-face if possible or, for example, via video call. There are also various parenting apps which aid in communication between parents.
Mediation and School Holidays – What to do when there is no agreement in place
If direct discussions reach an impasse when attempting to agree the arrangements for your children, Mediation can provide a neutral ground to explore possible solutions. With the help of a trained Mediator, separated parents can work towards a plan that focusses on the happiness and well-being of their children.
Key Benefits of Family Mediation:
Mediation offers a faster, more affordable, and more collaborative alternative to Court. It empowers both parents to stay in control of the decision-making process whilst prioritising their children’s best interests. The three biggest advantages are:-
- Lower cost – far more affordable than Court proceedings
- Faster resolution – avoids long Court timescales
- Better outcomes – agreements made by parents tend to work better than Court-imposed Orders
The Government has, for quite some time now, been running a voucher scheme to help towards the cost of joint Mediation sessions relating to child arrangements. This voucher is a one-off payment of up to £500.00 i.e. £250.00 per parent. This voucher can be used towards the first joint Mediation session, making Mediation an even more cost-effective way forward.
The Extended Family Mediation Voucher Scheme
Find out more about the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme including the benefits and how to find out if you are eligible by reading this Blog by Stacey Higgs, Family Law Paralegal.
Remember, co-parenting during the summer doesn’t have to be a battle. With open communication, flexibility, and, where necessary, support from a trained mediator, you can build a plan that puts your children first and reduces conflict for everyone involved.
Some Useful Resources
The National Association of Child Contact Centres (NACCC) was founded in Nottingham in 1991 with the establishment of the first Child Contact Centre. It is a registered charity, and an umbrella organisation which sets the National Standards to which Child Contact Centres must work. NACCC, in collaboration with Our Family Wizard, has developed a Parenting Plan Template that aims to cover most of the issues that might arise after you have separated so that you can co-parent effectively.
OurFamilyWizard invented the concept of a shared parenting application. Its website, iOS, and Android applications have been used by nearly one million people since the company was founded in 2001. The platform allows parents to communicate, share calendars and journals, track expenses, and more. OurFamilyWizard is recommended by family law attorneys, mental health practitioners and courts in all 50 U.S. states, Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia and New Zealand.
Cafcass advises the family courts about the welfare of children and what is in their best interests. Their Parenting Plan can be accessed and completed online. Cafcass say “A Parenting Plan can help because it shows clearly what arrangements and actions you have agreed to meet the needs of your child. Agreeing a plan can avoid you having to go to court to reach such an agreement or have arrangements ordered by the court. Agreeing a plan shows your child that you are putting them first and will always act in their best interests.”
Contact our Family Law team here at Thornton Jones
Our friendly and experienced family law team at Thornton Jones Solicitors is here to help. Contact us at any of our offices to discuss your situation further and to book an appointment.
Family Mediation Frequently Asked Questions
MIAM stands for Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, and it is an initial meeting between yourself and a qualified Family Mediator. The purpose of a MIAM is to assess whether your issues can be resolved through the use of Family Mediation, negating the need to take your matter to Court.
A Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is held between just you and the Mediator. The other party would not be present. The other party would also need to attend a MIAM to formally assess their suitability for Family Mediation and, assuming both assessments provide a favourable outcome, the Mediator will recommend pursuing Family Mediation as a way forward.
A 2020 survey undertaken by the Family Mediation Council showed that “Mediation is successful in over 70% of cases”. This means that in over 70% of cases, separating and divorcing couples were able to reach an outcome through the use of Family Mediation and without the need to take their matter through the expensive, stressful, and time-consuming Court process.
Although there are no strict rules over who pays for Family Mediation, it is typical for all costs to be shared equally. Your Family Mediator will set out the costs for Mediation at the outset so that you are aware of how much the mediation process will cost. The fees for mediation will vary depending on whether you are seeking mediation services for financial matters only, mediation services for children’s matters only, or mediation services for all matters. The costs for mediation will also be dependent upon the number of mediation sessions required to reach an outcome.
For eligible parties, vouchers towards the cost of mediation are available up to the value of £500 (claimed by the mediator on your behalf and apply only where discussions around child arrangements are required) through the Government’s Family Mediation Voucher Scheme.
There is no fixed term for how long family mediation takes. The process can take anywhere from just a few weeks to many months. How long mediation takes depends on the type and complexity of the issues needing to be resolved. Typically, Mediation achieves a quicker resolution than that of the traditional Court route. Mediation can also reduce costs and associated stress.
If mediation doesn’t work, then there are a few options. Arbitration is a good way of having a third-party preside over the facts of the case and make a decision on your behalf.
The arbitrator will make a decision using the same judgement criteria as a Court however comes without the timescale considerations, the increased costs, and the ruling of a Judge when pursuing the court route. Arbitration dos require both partied to be amenable to this route to resolution. If this isn’t the case, then often litigation through the Courts is necessary.
Another way forward is an Early Neutral evaluation, or Collaborative Law, or having a private Judge (in financial matters) assist by providing an indication and guidance as to how the family assets should be shared.
Family Lawyers, and indeed the Ministry of Justice, are keen to keep divorce matters out of court. It is proven that the use of Alternative Dispute Resolution, which includes Mediation, Collaborate Law, and Arbitration, is a far quicker, cheaper, and less stressful route to resolution. This approach also fosters a better future relationship between the divorcing parties which is especially beneficial where children are involved.
The content of this blog post is for information only and does not constitute formal legal advice. It should not be relied upon as advice. Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no liability for any such reliance upon this content. Where the post includes links to external websites, Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no responsibility for the content of such sites. Any link to a third-party website should not be construed as endorsement by Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited of any content, products or services which are outside our direct control.
Pets and Divorce: Why UK Law Needs to Catch Up
From dogs and cats to parrots and ponies, pets are increasingly becoming a source of legal disagreement during divorce and separation. What was once a straightforward matter of ownership is now being challenged by the emotional bonds families form with their animals.
As society recognises pets as part of the family, rather than mere possessions, the law may be about to catch up. With growing calls for reform and recent court cases signalling a shift in how pet disputes are handled.
What happens to pets during divorce or separation?
When couples separate, the law currently treats pets as property or “chattels” which is the same category as furniture or appliances. However, most pet owners will agree that their pets mean far more than a sofa or dining room table.
At present, the future “possession” of a pet is typically linked to whoever purchased the pet or in whose name it is registered. Understandably, many feel that this does not reflect the true day-to-day dynamics of their family.
Courts are considering the emotional relationship families have with their pets
In recent years, several other countries have reformed their laws to ensure pets are not treated like other chattels during divorce or separation proceedings. For example, Spain now requires courts to prioritise a pet’s welfare, including emotional bonds with family members, particularly children, and the care needs of the animal.
In the recent case of FI v DO [2024] EWFC 384, the Judge considered who the family dog saw as its main carer and where it regarded as home. These factors were central to the court’s decision on who should be the dog’s primary legal owner moving forward.
As District Judge Crisp noted in FI v DO [2024] EWFC 384:-
“The legal authority to which I have referred provides assistance as to who has principally looked after the dog. Not who has purchased the dog, that fact in my view is not as important as who the dog sees as her carer. This is not who had previously looked after the dog, but who does now”.
This case reflects a growing trend in family law: courts are starting to give more weight to the emotional relationships that families have with their pets. The dog’s well-being contributed to the overall fairness of the proceedings, underlining how pets can hold significant emotional value post-separation.
Blog: Making provisions for your pets in your Will
More and more people are choosing to make provisions for their beloved pets in their Will. Making sure they enjoy a continued life of luxury after you pass.
A blog by Jess Buckley.
Legal professionals in family law have been proactive in pushing for change
The Working Group which was founded by two family law barristers and now includes other lawyers, veterinarians, veterinary nurses, and a past-chair of Resolution, is advocating for reform. Importantly, their proposals cover all companion animals, not just dogs.
In a recent House of Lords debate (February 2025), the treatment of pets in divorce was raised, and The Working Group is expected to engage directly with the government. Their goal: to propose a modest legal amendment informed by how other jurisdictions handle this issue.
This recent Judgment highlights the courts’ commitment to fairness and to practical, real-life solutions in family law. And it reminds us that, even in the most serious legal matters, a dog truly is for life.
Currently, pets are treated as property under English law. Ownership is usually determined by who bought the pet or whose name is on the registration. However, courts may consider practical care arrangements in some cases.
Yes. Under current law, pets are considered “chattels” which is the same category as furniture or other possessions, although there is growing pressure to change this approach.
Yes, in some cases. For example, in FI v DO [2024] EWFC 384, the court considered who the dog viewed as its main carer. This shows an emerging focus on welfare and emotional bonds, though it’s not yet standard practice.
Possibly. A legal Working Group is pushing for reform, and the issue was recently debated in the House of Lords. Changes may see courts take pets’ welfare into account more formally during separation proceedings.
Need help deciding what happens to your pet after separation?
Our friendly and experienced family law team at Thornton Jones is here to help. Whether you’re facing a dispute over a beloved dog or looking to put clear arrangements in place for your pet, we can guide you through the legal process with care and empathy. Contact us at any of our offices to discuss your situation further and to book an appointment.
The content of this blog post is for information only and does not constitute formal legal advice and should not be relied upon as advice. Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no liability for any such reliance upon this content. Where the post includes links to external websites, Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no responsibility for the content of such sites. Any link to a third-party website should not be construed as endorsement by Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited of any content, products or services which are outside our direct control.
Navigating Blended Family Dynamics: The Benefits of Family Mediation for Blended Families
Blended families come with their own unique challenges. Often, when parents remarry or cohabit, they bring together children from previous relationships, creating new family structures that may involve complex dynamics. As families try to navigate this new reality, they often encounter practical issues such as the organising the children’s schedules, and working around the parents’ schedules to ensure the children spend good quality time with half-siblings or step-siblings.
As Family Mediators, we are seeing an increase in blended families, which can encompass complex relationship dynamics. One of the most common challenges is managing different parenting styles that may be adopted by new partners. Parents from previous relationships often have their own established ways of raising children, and this can sometimes lead to tension when they try to establish a new set of rules or routines . This can often cause conflict between parents.
Another common challenge faced by blended families may present in relation to differing expectations. New family members, whether biological parents, step-parents, or step-siblings, may have different ideas about what their roles should be and how they should relate to one another. For example, a step-parent may struggle with their role in disciplining step-children, while a child may have trouble accepting a new adult figure in their life. Similarly, siblings from different households may not immediately bond and they may even clash over shared spaces or resources.
Meet our Mediator
Shelley Wales qualified as a solicitor in 2001 and is a Partner and Head of Family Dispute Resolution here at Thornton Jones Solicitors. Shelley is a qualified Family Mediator and One Lawyer service provider.
Shelley’s warm and calm demeanour helps couples who are separating and divorcing reach fair and amicable outcomes, offering reasonable and pragmatic solutions to both children and financial matters, Shelley has a wealth of experience in achieving long lasting results.
How can Mediation help Blended Families?
- Mediation provides an open and neutral space where parents can discuss and understand each other’s parenting approaches, their needs, fears, and hopes for the future. This is especially valuable in blended families, where some may feel uncertain about their place in the new family dynamic, fostering a more stable and cohesive environment
- A trained Mediator helps facilitate communication, clarify issues, identify common goals and explore possible solutions, ensuring that both parents are heard, and that any concerns or desires are addressed in a constructive way, which is essential for creating lasting and safe relationships
- Parents can align on key aspects such as expectations, discipline, decision-making and emotional support, ultimately working together to create a unified approach to parenting, finding common ground and building trust
- Families can set their own realistic expectations, boundaries and routines for how relationships should evolve, which feel fair and comfortable for everyone
- Mediation can assist in resolving immediate conflicts however, in the long-term, Mediation encourages ongoing communication and cooperation within the family. Blended families are more likely to thrive when everyone feels heard and when family members work together to create a sense of shared purpose and mutual respect
- Mediation can help families prepare for the future by discussing potential challenges ahead, meaning stronger foundations that allow families to adapt more easily to new circumstances without falling into conflict.
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What Is the Goal of Family Mediation?
The ultimate goal of Family Mediation is to create an environment where every individual feels valued and respected. By addressing potential issues head-on, families can move past initial uncertainty or awkwardness and form meaningful bonds that support long-term happiness and stability. In a world where family dynamics are continually evolving, Mediation is a key resource for helping blended families thrive. It offers a path to understanding, and long-lasting relationships that helps families move forward together.
Blending families isn’t just about resolving conflicts—it’s about building new relationships which are happy, safe and secure.
Family mediation is a structured process where a neutral third party (a mediator) helps family members communicate, resolve disputes, and reach mutually acceptable agreements. It is voluntary, confidential, and focused on creating long-term solutions.
Family mediation can assist with a range of issues, including parenting arrangements, financial matters, communication breakdowns, and conflict resolution in blended families or separated households.
Mediation is typically faster, less expensive, and less stressful than going to court. It encourages cooperation, preserves relationships, and allows families to create tailored solutions rather than having a judge impose a decision.
How Do I Start Family Mediation?
Find out more about mediation and how it can help you by contacting our family law solicitors in Yorkshire or explore our website to find useful articles relating to family mediation, the benefits of family mediation, how mediation can help resolve family disputes, and the government Family Mediation Voucher Scheme.
The content of this blog post is for information only and does not constitute formal legal advice and should not be relied upon as advice. Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no liability for any such reliance upon this content. Where the post includes links to external websites, Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no responsibility for the content of such sites. Any link to a third-party website should not be construed as endorsement by Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited of any content, products or services which are outside our direct con
One Lawyer: A Collaborative Approach to Separation and Divorce
Divorce and separation can often be a stressful and adversarial life event that can leave families with long-lasting emotional and financial consequences. The process of dividing assets, determining child arrangements, and negotiating support can quickly escalate into conflict, making it difficult to find a solution that is fair and respectful for everyone involved.
An alternative approach, known as the One Lawyer model, offers a way to navigate these challenges with a focus on collaboration and mutual respect. This approach can help separating couples achieve a more peaceful resolution and minimise the negative impacts of divorce, ultimately prioritising the well-being of all parties, particularly children.
In this blog, we’ll explore how a separating couple can use the One Lawyer model to help navigate financial disputes and child arrangements in a way that is equitable, respectful, and in the best interests of everyone involved.
What is the One Lawyer Model?
The One Lawyer scheme allows a single legal professional to assist both parties in a separation or divorce. This approach facilitates discussions, provides legal guidance, and helps both parties reach mutually agreeable solutions. It is especially useful in situations where communication has broken down, and couples want to avoid the adversarial nature of traditional court proceedings.
How can a One Lawyer help with Separation and Divorce?
- Neutral Facilitation: A neutral lawyer works with both parties to find common ground and guide the process.
- Minimises Conflict: By fostering collaboration, a neutral lawyer reduces the emotional strain and helps avoid contentious court battles.
Financial Resolution with One Lawyer
Dividing finances can be one of the most complex and contentious aspects of a separation or divorce. Property, investments, pensions, debts, and spousal support must all be considered. The decisions made during this phase will have long-lasting financial impacts on both parties.
How can a One Lawyer help navigate financial issues?
1. Asset Division
A neutral lawyer will assist in the fair division of assets, both tangible and intangible, ensuring that everything from property, vehicles, bank accounts, business interests, and pensions is accounted for. They’ll help both parties understand their rights and options to ensure a fair distribution.
2. Debt Allocation
Separating couples must also address how shared debts, such as mortgages, loans, and credit card balances, will be managed. A neutral lawyer can help allocate debts fairly between the parties, avoiding confusion or resentment down the line.
3. Spousal Support
Spousal support can be a contentious issue, particularly if one spouse has been financially dependent on the other. A neutral lawyer helps both parties understand legal guidelines on spousal support and works to negotiate terms that are fair and reasonable. The lawyer also assists in determining the appropriate duration and amount of support, taking into account factors such as income, standard of living, and the length of the marriage.
4. Child Support
When children are involved, child support becomes a crucial aspect of the financial settlement. A neutral lawyer ensures that child support calculations comply with legal guidelines and are based on the needs of the children, as well as the parenting arrangement. The lawyer can also facilitate an open discussion about the financial responsibilities of each parent moving forward.
By assisting in these areas, a neutral lawyer helps separating couples make informed decisions, reduce conflict, and avoid the financial strain and stress that often come with litigation.
Meet Your One Lawyer Specialist
Shelley Wales qualified as a solicitor in 2001 and is a Partner and Head of Family Dispute Resolution here at Thornton Jones Solicitors. Shelley is a qualified Family Mediator and One Lawyer service provider.
Shelley’s warm and calm demeanour helps couples who are separating and divorcing reach fair and amicable outcomes, offering reasonable and pragmatic solutions to both children and financial matters, Shelley has a wealth of experience in achieving long lasting results.
Co-Parenting and Child Arrangements
When children are involved, the well-being of the child must always be the priority. Divorce or separation can be emotionally draining, and children often find themselves caught in the middle of conflicts. A neutral lawyer can help parents develop a parenting plan that works for both parties and serves the children’s best interests.
How can a One Lawyer Help with Co-Parenting and Child Arrangements?
- Parenting Plans: A neutral lawyer helps parents create a comprehensive parenting plan that outlines the time each parent will spend with the child and addresses important decisions related to the child’s upbringing. The aim is to create a plan that is flexible yet provides stability for the child.
- Co-Parenting Support: Successful co-parenting relies on cooperation and open communication between parents. A neutral lawyer can help facilitate discussions around each parent’s expectations, needs, and evolving roles, offering advice on effective communication tools that reduce misunderstandings and prevent conflict.
- Emotional and Legal Support: Divorce and separation can be a turbulent emotional journey. A neutral lawyer offers both legal expertise and a supportive environment where parents can express their concerns and work collaboratively to find solutions that benefit everyone, especially the children.
What are the Benefits of Using a One Lawyer?
Opting for a neutral lawyer during a separation or divorce comes with several significant benefits:
1. Cost-Effectiveness
Divorce proceedings can be costly, particularly when both parties hire separate lawyers. Using one lawyer helps streamline the process, which can significantly reduce legal fees and associated costs.
2. Reduced Conflict
Divorce is often emotionally charged, and the One Lawyer model helps manage tensions by encouraging open, respectful communication. This is especially important when children are involved, as it reduces the emotional strain on them and promotes a more cooperative co-parenting dynamic.
3. Faster Resolution
Traditional divorce processes can take months or even years to resolve, especially when they involve lengthy court proceedings. Working with one lawyer allows couples to resolve issues more efficiently, leading to a quicker, less stressful conclusion.
4. Consistent Legal Advice
Having one lawyer provides consistent legal advice to both parties. This ensures that everyone has a clear understanding of their rights and obligations, reducing the likelihood of misunderstandings and disagreements.
5. Tailored Solutions
By working with one lawyer, couples can develop tailored solutions that address their specific needs and circumstances. The lawyer helps craft agreements that are fair, balanced, and mutually beneficial.
Is a One Lawyer Right for You?
This model works well for couples who wish to work together constructively to reach a fair outcome. However, it’s essential that both individuals understand and agree that the lawyer will be advising them jointly.
When One Lawyer Might Not Be Suitable:
- Domestic Abuse: If there has been any form of abuse in the relationship, the One Lawyer model may not be appropriate.
- Power Imbalance: If there is a significant power imbalance between the parties, a neutral lawyer may not be the best choice.
- Financial Transparency Issues: If one party is concerned that the other may hide financial information, the model may not be effective. Transparency and trust are crucial for this approach to work.
Even in complex financial situations, such as with pensions or taxes, a neutral lawyer can help identify when outside expertise is needed and bring in the appropriate advisors.
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How is One Lawyer Different from Mediation?
The One Lawyer model is often compared to mediation. Both involve a separating couple working with a professional to reach an agreement on financial and child-related matters. However, the primary difference lies in the role of the professional.
- Mediation: In mediation, the mediator provides assistance but cannot give legal advice. If the couple requires legal advice, they must instruct separate lawyers outside the mediation sessions.
- One Lawyer Model: In the One Lawyer model, the solicitor provides joint legal advice to both parties, eliminating the need for separate legal advice. This helps simplify the process and keeps costs down.
The cost of participating in the One Lawyer model can vary, depending on the matters which need resolving and the complexity. The trained expert lawyer will be able to provide fee information at the initial separate meeting.
Proceeding with the One Lawyer model typically depends on specific criteria. Generally, it may be suitable for separating couples in relation to financial matters and/or child arrangements following on from their separation.
The One Lawyer Scheme is most effective for cases that require consistent and ongoing legal support. It is commonly used for family law matters, such as divorce, finances or child arrangement disputes. Complex cases where multiple legal issues need to be managed simultaneously can also benefit from this approach. If you’re unsure whether your issue is suitable, it’s best to speak with the legal provider directly to determine if this approach is appropriate for your needs.
How Do I Get Started with One Lawyer?
If you and your ex-spouse or partner are interested in the One Lawyer model for resolving financial matters or child arrangements, the first step is to schedule an initial suitability assessment with a lawyer experienced in this model. For more information about how One Lawyer can help you through your divorce and separation, and to explore the other Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) options available to you, please call us at any of our offices to discuss your unique situation and to make an appointment.
The content of this blog post is for information only and does not constitute formal legal advice and should not be relied upon as advice. Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no liability for any such reliance upon this content. Where the post includes links to external websites, Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited accepts no responsibility for the content of such sites. Any link to a third-party website should not be construed as endorsement by Thornton Jones Solicitors Limited of any content, products or services which are outside our direct control.
